


You got two black eyes from loving too hard/And a black car that matches your blackest soul.

by creepypaola



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: I put the Violence warnings bc blood and wounds are mentioned, M/M, Mercenaries, Modern AU, No proofreading we die like i medici, Soft Ending, Spies & Secret Agents, WidoFjord Week 2019, Widofjord Week, but just bc it turns out its also fits with a bigger work im writing, but nothing too explicit, mostly the second one, or - Freeform, someone gets shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-16 00:24:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19306885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creepypaola/pseuds/creepypaola
Summary: It tastes like copper and it’s hot and rushed and needy and it’s blood and sweat all together. The warlock moans in Caleb’s mouth as the man’s hand glows again and presses over the bullet wound just above his left arm. Fjord feels his muscle fibers being pulled apart and then knitted back together, and it burns like skin over open flame, which he knows is not too far off to what’s happening. He bites Caleb’s lips until they bleed, while a tear escapes from the corner of his eyes.This kind of injures are to be expected with this kind of job, but that doesn't make them easier to deal with.





	You got two black eyes from loving too hard/And a black car that matches your blackest soul.

**Author's Note:**

> My contribution to Widofjord Week 2019, Day 6: Modern AU (They are mercenaries. Or secret agents. Or something along those lines.)
> 
> Title from LA Devotee - Panic! at the Disco

“How comes that as you become older you also get dumber?”

“I’ve always been like this, I just tricked you with my charming smile and dashing looks into thinking I wasn’t.”

The car suddenly swerves left and Fjord lets out a scream mixed both in pain and surprise. Caleb spares a glance at the half-orc sprawled all over the front car seat beside him and at the blood seeping through his fingers down his arm and keeps driving.

“Be more careful please,” Fjord’s voice is weirdly calm for a situation like this one, “Wounded person here.”

“You have no right to complain about my driving, Mr. I-Have-Crashed-The-Last- Two-Cars,” Caleb looks at the rearview mirror for a split second before focusing back on the road ahead, “But if you are so willing to have a word on this, then you are more than welcome to help me chase away our friends back there.”

Fjord slightly turns back with a groan and whisper a quiet _fuck_ before reaching for something at his feet.

“This is gonna hurt.” He murmurs to himself as he twists his torso out of the window with a grunt and starts shooting at the two black cars following them. He manages to hit the windshield of the closest one, making it turn sharply against a streetlamp, before someone inside the other one starts firing back at them.

“Great job, cowboy.” Caleb’s right hand leaves the steering wheel to grab Fjord and pulls him back inside the car, as a few bullets graze the side of the vehicle. “Now they are chasing us and also shooting back, that’s just what we needed.”

“What? You asked me to help you and so I did!” Fjord starts reloading the gun and his left hand is shaking a bit more now. “Aren’t you happy?”

“You are literally bleeding out all over my car seats, so not really. It’s leather. It’s never gonna go away.”

“Oh, so now stained seats concern you more than the fact that it’s my blood staining them.” Fjord rolls his eyes as he resumes shooting outside the window, “Am I worth less than Italian leather? I'd say I’m a bit offended, darlin’. Plus, it’s not like we can’t afford redoing the upholstery. Or literally buy a whole new car.”

“Don’t you dare _darlin’_ me right now.” Caleb’s starts to shout back when he gets interrupted by the back windshield getting shattered by a series of bullets. He takes a few sharp turns and tries to ignore Fjord’s annoyed groans beside him, “Why do they keep following us?”

“Because we stole a bunch of stuff from their boss?”

Caleb glares at Fjord for a couple of seconds with a blank expression, “Rhetoric question, Fjord.” Another well-aimed bullet speeds between them, cracking the front glass. “ _Scheisse_. Do you mind taking this for a moment?”

Fjord can barely react and reach for the steering wheel before Caleb looks back and drags his right hand on his left’s palm, making a wall of fire appears behind them just between the two cars.

“That might buy us some time.” When he turns again, it takes him a few seconds before noticing Fjord staring at him in his peripheral. “What?”

“And you thought about doing that just now?!”

“Oh sorry, yes, setting off a twenty feet tall wall of fire right in the middle of the worst district of the city. Very subtle way of trying to flee the scene without being noticed. Why didn’t I think about it before?” He speeds off the highway before glancing to his right, towards Fjord. “How is your shoulder doing.”

“ _Hm._ ” Fjord eyes are closed as he tries to even out his breathing, pressing his right hand on the wound as the adrenaline starts to wear off, “It has seen better days, I’ll be honest.”

Caleb pushes the gas pedal down even further and gestures at the compartment in front of Fjord’s knees, “There should be some bandages there. We are almost at the safe house.”

Fjord painfully sits up straight to open the glove box and starts rummaging through it until he finds a few pieces of gauze. “What’s this?” He holds up a bottle of whiskey at Caleb, raising an eyebrow. “I thought you knew better than drinking and driving.”

“I’ll take this as a confirmation of my previous You Are A Dumbass comment.” But he’s smiling, “It’s for the bandages; you need at least to clean the gash a bit.”

Fjord rips the shredded sleeve off his shoulder and opens the bottle with his teeth before taking a way too long sip from it. He takes a deep breath and pours the liquid on the wound, groaning between his gritted teeth; he doesn’t seem to notice Caleb’s suddenly clenched jaw. After a couple of frantic breaths, he starts to cover the open cut with pieces of gauze before collapsing back against the car seat.

They spend the rest of the car ride without saying a word, the silence only interrupted by the cadence of Fjord’s raspy and uneven breaths. Caleb focuses on the sound and mentally counts the seconds until the car crosses the estate’s gates at a definitely-not-safe speed and hastily parks it in front of the main entrance.

“We are home, let’s get you actually patched up.” He expects a snarky comment coming from his right but when he turns, Fjord’s head is slumped over his own left shoulder and his shirt is becoming more red than white. “Shit. Fjord. Fjord!”

Caleb leans over, carefully avoiding the wounded arm, and takes Fjord chin in one hand while pressing two fingers to the exposed side of his neck, searching for a pulse. “Hey, hey, hey. I need you to stay conscious.”

He pats his cheek a couple of times until Fjord lets out a small groan and slightly opens his eyes. “Good boy. Stay with me.” Caleb kick his door open and vaults over the front of the vehicle to Fjord’s side and starts cautiously maneuvering him out of his seat and out of the car.

The man takes Fjord’s unscathed arm and drapes it over his own shoulders but when he tries to lift him up by grabbing his side, Fjord screams again.

“Fuck, even your ribcage? You told me it was a singular bullet through your shoulder.”

“I _ah-_ I may ‘ve. Lied”

“I swear to gods, I would slap you so hard if it wasn’t for the fact that you can’t even stand up by yourself right now.”

“Very, _mh_ , kind o’ you.”

“Yeah, yeah, you can thank me later, let’s get you inside.”

Caleb grabs him by his hip and clumsily drags him up the few steps in front of the main entrance, paying attention not to tug his left side too much. A spark shoots out of his fingers and with a quick flick of wrist the door opens. Once inside, he closes it with a similar gesture and they both stumble ahead in the hallway until they reach the living room. They barely make it inside the room before Fjord’s legs give out and he collapses on the couch.

“’ ‘m jus- g’nna take a nap here. Yeah.”

“Like hell you are.” Caleb’s yell crosses the room as he rushes to the kitchen and starts rummaging through the cabinets. “Why didn’t you tell me you smashed your ribs too?”

“Worse things goin’ on.” Fjord looks up at the ceiling and wonders if those dark spots have always been there, “But flatter’d you care.”

“Bleeding out and yet still making jokes.” Caleb’s voice is near Fjord’s ears again and Fjord faintly smiles. He feels his eyelids getting heavier and heavier and thinks that maybe that nap really is a good idea. He closes his eyes for a second and when he opens them again Caleb’s blue irises are above him, frantically scanning his face.

“Hey, hey, hey, cowboy.” He presses his cold hand on Fjord’s sweaty forehead and brushes away a few strands of sticky black hair. “I need you to try to stay awake.”

“ ‘twas just one second.”

“It wasn’t just _one_ second, Fjord.” Caleb’s voice is firm but there’s worry in his words.

“ _Oh. ‘kay._ ”

Caleb takes one of the daggers strapped to his thigh and cuts open the left side of Fjord’s shirt, or what’s left of it. The skin there is coated in dark red and there’s a wide cut bleeding over his ribs. Caleb inspects it closer and exhales, only vaguely more relieved, “Seems like this one just grazed you, I don’t see broken bones but it’s gonna be a bitch to fix.”

“Lucky me you ‘ve _ah-”_ His breaths are getting shorter and he looks more feverish than before, “Steady hands.”

“Still, you know magic healing isn’t that painless. Also, you have a fucking hole in your shoulder.” Caleb picks up a label-less bottle from the floor next to him and hands it over. “Thought you might want this.”

Fjord raises his right arm and takes a heavy sip from the flask, “Ready wh’n you are, doc.”

Caleb nods, mostly to himself, and places his hand above Fjord’s ribcage. There’s a small yellow spark radiating out of his palm and the muscles beneath start healing themselves back together. Fjord groans through his teeth and slightly arcs his back, holding his breath until the wizard’s hand stops glowing and he looks down a few minutes later to see a long scar across his left lower ribs.

His breaths are still frantic but steadier than before and Caleb sighs reassured; his hand is shaking a little, so he tries to hide it by running his finger though Fjord’s black hair.

“There you go, you did good. Just one more time, can you do it for me?” and it’s a plea and it’s a prayer to Fjord’s ears.

Fjord hums with a nod and takes Caleb’s jaw in his hands, brushing his lip with his thumb, before bringing his face up until their foreheads touch. They stare at each other for a moment and then Fjord whispers _Now_ and drags Caleb down to him until their lips crash.

It tastes like copper and it’s hot and rushed and needy and it’s blood and sweat all together. The warlock moans in Caleb’s mouth as the man’s hand glows again and presses over the bullet wound just above his left arm. Fjord feels his muscle fibers being pulled apart and then knitted back together, and it burns like skin over open flame, which he knows is not too far off to what’s happening. He bites Caleb’s lips until they bleed, while a tear escapes from the corner of his eyes. With his free hand, Caleb cups the back of Fjord’s neck and grabs his hair, yanking him even closer.

There are a few _It’s almost over_ and a couple of _I’m sorry_ murmured between wet kisses and Fjord focuses on Caleb’s words and thinks that, if he is not gonna die right there on the couch, he will definitely at least pass the fuck out.

When it’s over and another scar is now marking Fjord’s skin, they are both panting and Caleb collapses on the other side of the couch, exhausted. They stay like that, in silence, staring at ceiling for a while, until the man pulls himself up not without effort and slowly walks towards the kitchen. When he comes back a few minutes later, he sits down on the floor next to a half-conscious-but-breathing Fjord.

He cuts what’s left of his shirt and carefully peels it off, trying to avoid moving Fjord too much, and starts looking for other hidden bruises. He picks up a few gauzes and slowly begins cleaning around the two fresh wounds, streaks of blood transferring from the skin to the warm, wet towel in his hand. His fingers have stopped trembling by the time he is done, so he grabs clean bandages and delicately wraps Fjord’s shoulder and ribcage.

It takes him the better part of an hour before he stands up again and tosses everything on the coffee table near him, looking down at Fjord. His eyes are half closed and his chest is moving evenly now.

“Let’s put you to bed, come on.”

“I don’t think I can stand up,” Fjord whispers before dramatically bringing a hand to his forehead, “You’ll have to leave me here.”

Caleb watches him vaguely entertained and crosses his arms over his chest, “I did not spend the last two hours healing your arm and ribs just to see you wreck you back on a bloodied couch.”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to.” He tone is serious, but he is trying to bring himself up with his uninjured arm anyway. “What if I just thunderstep there?”

“Sure, so that magic can mess you up inside even more and I have to scrub your intestines off the floor.”  Caleb takes Fjord’s arm over his own shoulder and helps him stand up. “Gods, you are heavy to carry, what do you even need all these muscles for?”

“All I’m hearing is that you are very familiar with my muscles.”

Caleb kicks a few forgotten daggers and bloodied bandages out of the way and they slowly step out of the living room. “Do not test me, I swear I’ll drop you.”

“You would never, I know you.”

“Shut up, you don’t know jack shit about me.” Once inside the bedroom, Caleb eases Fjord on the bed and helps him lay down again before heading back down the hallway. “Wait here for a second.”

“As if I can do otherwise. Or want to!” Fjord shouts towards Caleb’s vague direction, but the man is already out of the room.

He comes back a few minutes later with a bottle of water and a small orange container; he takes out a few pills and hands both them over. He waits for Fjord to swallow the painkillers and then crouches down to his level.

“You can take your nap now.”

Caleb brushes his black hair back and Fjord leans into the touch. His eyelids are really heavy now and the pain is finally slowly starting to fade out. “No need to tell me twice.”

“Hm. That’s what I thought.” Caleb watches him until he’s sure Fjord has completely fallen asleep and then places a faint kiss on his forehead before summoning Frumpkin on the end of the bed with a snap.  

He scratches his back a few times and winks at him, “Be a good boy and watch over him, will you?”

The cat meows back and Caleb smiles before walking out of the room and leaving the door slightly ajar behind him.

 

 

 

When Fjord wakes up, it’s well after midday and the sun is peeking through the half-closed curtains. He stares at the ceiling for at least ten minutes, contemplating if it’s really worth it to wake up instead of going back to sleep, but the painkillers have worn off, and the other side of the bed is empty and cold.

He looks to his right and there are messy sheets crumpled at the end of the mattress; Frumpkin is watching him from the pillow near his head and they stare at each other for a moment before the cat jumps down the bed and scoots out the barely open door.

Fjord decides he might as well get up at his point, and curses at least three times as he props himself up on his elbows and sits straight up, before stopping on the edge of the mattress, too tired by the abrupt effort. His shoulder is burning like hell and he’s already regretting every single action he has just taken, but he’s finally up now and there’s no reason to lay down again and risk messing up his sore muscles even more. It takes him another two minutes to stand up and, once there, he stares at an old, discarded shirt laying on the armchair near the desk; his arm hurts just by thinking about putting it on, so he shrugs and slowly and painfully makes his way out of the room and down the hallway.

Maybe it’s his stealthy habits or maybe it’s just knowing which wooden panels creaks more by now, but he manages to silently step into the kitchen without making a sound, just in time to see the cat jump on the counter. Caleb is there, his back turned to Fjord, cleaning the guns and the bloodied daggers he recognizes they used the night before. Caleb scratches the familiar between his ears and then Frumpkin jumps satisfied down the table and makes his way into the living room, not before nuzzling his face against Fjord’s calves too.

Even by where he’s standing, Fjord notices how the wizard's gestures are precise and trained, quick hands working almost mechanically; his hair are up in a bun and Fjord is distracted by some loose hair fallen over his broad shoulders before noticing that _that jumper really looks like the one he had bought a couple of weeks prior_.

There are two steaming mugs next to Caleb, the air smells like toasted bread and Fjord wonders how domestic this manages to look, considering their lives.

“Please tell me you have slept a bit after I officially went down.”

“At least four whole hours.” Caleb looks up from what he’s doing and glances back at Fjord with a playful smile, before turning back to his work, “What are you doing here?”

Fjord strides up to him and starts opening the cabinets, “Painkillers killed all the pain they could. This shoulder is _definitely_ going to be an asshole to deal with...”

“That’s why you shouldn’t be out of bed.”

“… _and_ you weren’t there.”

“Hm, Is that so?” Caleb smiles at him fondly and, without looking, he opens the drawer to his left, taking out an orange pill bottle before handing it to Fjord, “Yeah well, you were breathing normally and finally sleeping and someone had to clean the murder scene in the living room and make breakfast.”

“Lucky me.” Fjord walks up to the oven and takes out the toasted bread, “I should get shot more often.”

Caleb loudly sets down the guns and stares at him with a stern look.

“Sorry.” Words muffled by the food in his mouth, Fjord picks up one of the mugs and continues, “What are you gonna do with the car?”

“Uhm, that’s mine, thank you very much.” Caleb grabs the cup in Fjord’s hands and places it down, switching it with the one that definitely smells more like coffee rather than tea. “Destroy it probably, it’d cost us more to fix it than buy a new one. Both the front and back glasses are broken and the back looks like a strainer. Plus, someone decided to lose half his weight in blood all over the front seats.”

Fjord hides a smile behind the mug and innocently hums, “Hm, I hope they made it home safe.”

Caleb glares at him once more and Fjord laughs softly, before immediately regretting doing so, as a sharp pain stabs him through his left rib.

“Come on, let’s get you back to bed before you somehow manage to reverse magic healing out of sheer will and open yourself in a half. Again.” Caleb picks up his teacup from the counter and gently pushes Fjord towards the bedroom with his free hand.

“Hey, it was just that one time in Rexxentrum.”

“Sure, _just that one time_. If you say so.” Once inside the bedroom, he helps Fjord lay down on the bed again and places both the mugs on the nightstand. He takes a couple of pills from the bottle and hands them over to him with a glass of water that Fjord definitely didn’t notice was sitting on his nightstand before. “You should really rest now.”

Caleb watches Fjord as he takes them, leaves a quick, faint kiss on his forehead and starts to heading towards the door again, when Fjord’s hand catches his wrist.

“Stay.” He gently tugs him back a few feet “You know those eyes of yours can’t fool me. You are pretty worn out too.”

Caleb looks at him with a fond smile and Fjord already feels better. The man sits on the edge of the mattress beside him and wipes a few strands of black hair from the warlock’s tired, sleepy eyes.

“Okay. But just to make sure you don’t do something stupid again.”

Fjord rolls his eyes but grins back at him. “I’ll take it.” He grabs Caleb’s hand in his and leaves a soft kiss on his palm, just above the scar. “I’m sorry I worried you yesterday.”

Caleb quietly hums, “Don’t do it again.” His words are just above a whisper, just for Fjord to perceive, and they feel like velvet to his ears.

They stay like that in silence for a while, looking at each other in the eyes, Caleb stroking Fjord’s cheek in soothing motions, until Fjord finally spreads his right arm over the empty side of the mattress next to him and tilts his head. Caleb smiles gently at him once more and circles the bed before taking off the blue sweater and laying down next to him.

Caleb feels a pair of warm lips pressing on his forehead as he scoots a bit closer to Fjord, resting his hand on the warlock’s chest before speaking again, quietly.

“Sleep now.”

“You’ll still be here when I wake up?”

Caleb looks up at him with clear blue eyes and Fjord knows his words are sincere.

“Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> There you go, my Modern AU take on Widofjord i talked about yesterday. I'm working on two other things with a similar theme (bc apparently im also a sucker for heist jobs mixed with love stories) and turns out this one fits in the same au as one of them so -if i ever finish them- i'll probably turn it into a series. 
> 
> Fun fact! While writing this, i started to look up if someone could survive a bullet to their shoulder, what wound would it leave, if whiskey can be used at first aid, if you can mix painkillers with alcohol or coffe, how to heal a fractured rib, etc but after half an hour spent on medical websites i threw all the technicalities out of the window bc this is an universe with magic so nothing really matters. Enjoy these stereotypical tropes from a classic action movie. 
> 
> Also, i have this headcanon that magic healing isn't painless. Like, at all. That would be too easy, you are rebuilding bones and flesh from nothing after all. Also, not enough dramatic.
> 
> Let me know what you think here, on tumblr or twitter (all @creepypaola) :)


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